There is hot news in the media, but no one claims its authenticity. As the summer sun beats down on the region, it seems the heat is not just affecting the weather but also the decision-making abilities of the region’s top politicians and military generals.

According to hot-off-the-press (pun intended) reports, the families of these esteemed individuals have jetted off to cooler climes, namely America and Switzerland, to escape the sweltering temperatures.

But what’s even more shocking is that the soldiers, who are supposed to be the backbone of our great nation, are also feeling the heat – literally. Reports are emerging of mass resignations, with soldiers claiming they need a break from the, ahem, “arduous” task of defending their ‘PAK’ country.

Now, one would think that the army generals would be in a panic, scrambling to find replacements for these deserting soldiers. But nope, their brilliant general has come up with a stroke of genius: why not call upon the retired army men to serve the nation again?

Because, you see, these old folks are just dying (pun intended again) to get back into action. And what’s in it for them, you ask? Well, besides the chance to relive their glory days, they’ll also be saving the government a pretty penny on pensions. It’s a win-win!

The army, however, seems to be in a bit of a pickle. With soldiers resigning left and right, and the generals trying to rope in senior citizens, it’s a wonder they can keep a straight face. Some are even whispering that the leader of the country has approached the UN for help.

Now, we all know what the UNO is great at: giving advice, condemning terrorist attacks, and telling people to live happily ever after. But when it comes to actual problem-solving, well… let’s just say they’re not exactly the most effective organisation.

As the situation continues to unfold, one can’t help but wonder what’s next. Will the politicians and generals start wearing shorts to work? Will the soldiers demand hazard pay for having to serve in the sweltering heat? And what about the retired army men – will they be issued diapers and walkers as part of their uniform?

Only time will tell, folks. But one thing’s for sure: this summer is shaping up to be a real scorcher.

In related news, sources close to the government have confirmed that the nation’s ice cream sales have skyrocketed, as everyone tries to beat the heat. Meanwhile, the opposition party is demanding that the government declare a national emergency… due to the lack of air conditioning in public offices.

Stay cool, everyone! (Or at least, try to.)