Donald J. Trump, striding into the White House Situation Room, his golden hair glowing under the fluorescent lights, ready to take on his role as ‘Commander in Chief.’

He’s not just here to lead the military—he’s here to make the world great again, one tweet at a time! Some say he’s destined to save America, protected by divine intervention from an assassin’s bullet. Others? They’re just wondering if he’ll remember where he parked Air Force One.

Trump, at the ripe young age of 78, is bursting with energy. Sure, he might forget a name or two (or that time he said he could “easily destroy China”), but who needs a perfect memory when you’ve got a “bigly” personality?

He’s a businessman turned war-ender, a tariff-toting peacemaker who claims he stopped India and Pakistan from fighting just by waving a tax form.

Move over, Nobel Peace Prize—Trump’s got this!

As Commander in Chief, Trump’s got big plans. He wants the military to salute his every word, whether he’s ordering a missile strike or a McDonald’s delivery. “I want loyalty!” he declares, probably while pointing at a general who dared to question his plan to build a “beautiful wall” around Area 51.

He’s already started cleaning house, showing the door to anyone who doesn’t chant “MAGA” in their sleep. The Pentagon? More like the Trump-agon, where everyone’s either on Team Trump or out the door.

However, let’s discuss his peacekeeping skills. Trump dreams of being the ultimate war-ender, picturing himself brokering peace deals over a bucket of KFC.

 “I told Putin, ‘Vlad, let’s make a deal. You get Ukraine, I get Greenland, and we’ll throw in a Trump Tower for free!’” he might say, forgetting Greenland isn’t for sale. His secret weapon? Tariffs! Why send troops when you can slap a 25% tax on imported samosas and watch nations surrender?

Of course, not everyone’s convinced. Critics whisper that Trump’s memory is like a goldfish’s—three seconds and poof, it’s gone. Did he mean to threaten China, or was he yelling at his TV during a late-night kung pao chicken binge?

Who knows! But his supporters? They’re convinced God saved him to save America. “He’s the chosen one!” they cheer, as Trump plans a military parade bigger than his last birthday bash (which, rumour has it, had tanks and a chocolate cake “so beautiful, you wouldn’t believe”).

In the end, Trump, as Commander in Chief, is like a reality show you can’t stop watching. Will he bring peace or accidentally start World War III over a misspelt tweet?

Will he remember his own battle plans or get distracted by a shiny new golf course? One thing’s for sure: with Trump in charge, it’s going to be a wild, “yuge” ride. Buckle up, America!